This Isn't Confusing: But They Are

We aren’t born confused about food. But we are born needing others to feed us.

And that shapes everything.

From the beginning of life, our relationship with nourishment is entangled with safety, love, and routine. According to developmental science, the way we’re fed—and the emotional tone around it—helps shape the brain’s early associations with pleasure, control, and even worthiness.

So when a caregiver says “clean your plate,” it’s not just about dinner. When reward is tied to dessert, or restriction to shame, those patterns wire into us. And before long, we’re not just eating—we’re performing, pleasing, rebelling, hiding.

But it’s not just childhood.

Food remains one of the most socially regulated aspects of our lives. We eat in community. We bond over meals. We compare, adapt, and occasionally become the tone-setters. School cafeterias. Birthday parties. First dates. Boutique fitness locker rooms. Group cleanses. Online challenges. The body keeps the score, but so does the dinner table.

In my case, I was raised on meals my family believed were “healthy.” But they left me foggy and hurting, leading to migraines in early childhood so debilitating that even the doctors studying me couldn't make the connection. By 11, I was preparing my own meals and naturally pulling away from meat. It didn’t go over well. I was made to feel arrogant. Difficult. I was just very uncomfortable rinsing off the blood, touching, and cutting what had previously been something that came to me as a finished product at the table.

By 14, I had internalized enough mixed messaging to weaponize food against myself. I learned bulimia from an after-school special and used it to conform to a dancer’s ideal. I wanted to look the part. Fortunately, this didn't last long, but for many around me, it did. By 17, I was a vegetarian. After ordering the PETA Starter Kit, I became a vegan overnight at 19. And then I encountered the endless purity spirals: You're not vegan enough. You’re still eating things made to be like meat. You eat too much fruit. You’re still using oil? What do you mean you weren't accommodated? We brought you a veggie plate after your 16-hour rehearsal. Ranch isn't vegan? Won't you get pale and become feeble? Thankfully, things have gotten easier as things have developed over the last few decades. And yes, I gained a smaller frame in the beginning, but I was the strongest I'd ever been in case you were wondering.

And now? Ten swipes on your phone and you’ve absorbed ten conflicting doctrines. Eat like your ancestors. Fast. Don't fast. All seed oils are toxic. Plants are trying to kill you. Biblical meal plans. Carnivore is king.

Let’s be clear: The food was never the enemy.

The confusion came from people.

People who are trying their best.

People repeating patterns.

People who stand to gain something with punchy marketing and creating cultish followings—financially, socially, or emotionally—by offering certainty in a world that’s anything but.

Confusion is a tool. And when it comes to food, it's a powerful one. It keeps you searching, outsourcing, and buying. Even in high-raw circles, there are voices using the same tired formula: you have a problem, and only my protocol can fix it.

That model works… until it doesn’t. Because the real results—the ones that last—don’t come from a single plan. They come from rhythm. From resonance. From returning to what feels true in your own body over time.

Finding sovereignty—especially in something as universal and communal as eating—requires listening deeper. It requires unlearning what was handed down and choosing what serves you with informed eyes. It requires seeing food not as a battleground, but as a dialogue with your body. Being a student of life means recognizing that if one person can convince you their one-size-fits-all program is right for you, then anyone else could too.

That’s why we share the high-raw path the way we do. Not as a set of rules. Not as an identity. But as a clearing. A return to simplicity and body-aligned nourishment. A way of eating that’s full of life, not fear, dogma, shortcuts, unhealthy beauty or fitness standards, or social hierarchy. We live it. We embody it. We observe and refine.

You don’t need to follow a new food religion. You just need a little space to give yourself the best. And it's up to you to find your food independence, to discern real food over products so you can close the door on the confusion.

Looking for guidance and individuated support on your journey? We are always here for you.